In preparation for Christmas, we dug out the previous years’ Christmas gift and Christmas card lists. I also went through the address book, noting any changes due to family situation, moves and death. The listings remind me of those who are gone and raise all kinds of memories from earlier days.

It’s interesting to be reminded of the stages in my life and the people that represented them. Often, I remember a general sense of people more than specific instances, and sometimes it’s just the opposite. My early days are just a blur, with a glimpse here and there of something specific. My strongest memories of my extended family (grands, aunts, uncles, cousins …) are like snapshots from a picture album, sometimes blurry and indistinct. I suppose my life got busier as I got older and those people and times became less significant (for me and them, both, I’m sure.)

A while ago, I tried to compile a list of people I wanted to recall or connect with from each phase of my life. Who were my best friends from elementary, junior high and high schools? I spent a month every summer at Camp Longhorn, the summer camp my father and uncle helped create. What about college, career stints, and the different places I lived?

After high school, I left Texas — venturing to Oklahoma, Arizona, Georgia, Alaska and finally Colorado (with time in Florida, Chicago, Abu Dhabi, Jeddah, and San Francisco). While my folks were alive, I still felt a strong tie to my Texas family, but as they passed and my brother and sister left home, my ties became more remote.

The annual Christmas card ritual has become a link to those times, but many of the connections grow fainter every year. I look forward to annual Christmas card updates from everyone, but I do feel less and less connected to many on my list. I follow many on Facebook or through email, but it’s often too incidental to be meaningful.

This time of year, however, nostalgia reigns supreme and I can dwell in my memories as much as I want. I fondly remember school days and the group that formed my “running buddies.” Surprisingly, the core of that crowd is still connected, at least through the internet. My Oklahoma friends were primarily fraternity and football teammates that still keep in touch. I married at the end of my Oklahoma days, but have had only faint connections with my first wife since we divorced seven years later. Time spent on the Navajo Reservation in Arizona was memorable and incident-filled, but I have mostly lost touch with my friends from those days. Likewise, my Alaska, Chicago and San Francisco connections are faint.

I guess I’ll have to dig out the photos from those days to really revel in the memories, but for now, just sending a card and hoping to get one back is enough. I can enjoy seeing their lives vicariously online and through the mail or phone — unless one of us decides to travel. Luckily, I can see my local friends face-to-face whenever we make it happen, and since COVID we have been Zooming regularly, too, which isn’t too bad.

Maybe it’s just me, but my memories are mostly good ones, and the bad ones seem much more remote and fuzzy. Noting the anniversary of someone’s passing resurrects some happy feeling or incident from our shared experience that overshadows the thought of their loss.

Maybe that’s what the Christmas holidays are all about — remembering and honoring the past, while looking forward to the future.

Happy Holidays!