It’s the season of holidays — Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s — and it always feels too busy and, well, sometimes not so merry. The pressure’s on to entertain family and friends, and obtain appropriate and awesome costumes, holiday cards and gifts. Even though I’m retired, I am conscious of my routines being disrupted, and having unusual expectations on me and of me.

I have been (erroneously, mind you!) accused of being grumpy these days, but admit that it’s a possibility. After all, there is plenty going on to irk a person — some small (nits) and some large. I won’t get started on politics (I am trying to manage my blood pressure these days), but as Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say, “It’s always something!”

On the other hand, the holidays are a good time to catch up with people you haven’t seen in a while. In preparation for the mailing of Christmas cards, I have been lookinig through our address book. While it does help me remember people I’ve lost contact with, it also reminds me of the people I’ve lost in the last year or so. At my age, I suppose reading the obituaries is kinda normal (and it’s reassuring to see that I’m not in them!)

I suppose it is all about memories. Of course, it’s necessary to be up to speed on everyone’s current status (still married, employed, kids, alive), family, travel, major health issues, etc. to avoid faux pas, But I also get to remember good and bad times spent with them and, mostly, the feelings they left me with. The memories are not just about holidays, though there are plenty of those that come to mind, but about each person and how they made me feel.

When I was younger, my father, brother and I (and later my sister) went duck and quail hunting during the Thanksgiving holiday. I have incredibly fond memories of wandering through the wilds of Texas with them and that time we spent together. It was seldom about the catch, (although it was a treat to be able to have a fresh duck or quail feast after we returned) it was all about the time spent together.

My dad told us about the time his brother-in-law, Uncle Buddy, was hosting a game dinner party and one of the ducks fell off the tray in the oven and burned, leaving them one short for the guests. My aunt, Buddy’s wife, insisted that he take an extra potato instead of a duck, so no one would notice the omission. Unknowingly, while digging into his own perfect duck breast, my dad found a bit of shot and asked, “Hey Buddy! Have you found a bird shot?” Buddy’s memorable reply silenced the whole table, “Who in hell would shoot a potato?”

 Thanksgiving was a spectacular holiday at our house. We usually had drop-in visitors: family members who would stop by on their way to or from somewhere else to find company, snacks and libations. It was usual before the big meal to have a touch football game in the front yard that catered to the girls and kids — although it was also a treat for my brother and I, both linemen, to play quarterback for a change.

The big Thanksgiving meal was one of my mother’s glorious annual accomplishments, and over-eating was a requirement. Following the massive feast, a few of us would help my mom with cleanup, while the rest retired to the den to ‘watch’ some football game and snooze off our full bellies to make room for the pie that was to come later. Each conscious member of the audience would slowly nod off as the turkey and libations did their work and, ultimately, gentle snoring muted the game on TV.

We weren’t particularly religious, but I can remember being thankful at the time. A warm room, full belly, friends and family, and lots of stories and conversation. Older folks seemed to have an obligation to tell funny stories and tales, many of which we had all heard before, but always enjoyed hearing again. The young’uns sought to match the adults by telling silly jokes and funny stories that the adults alternately laughed and groaned at. Then as their audience dissipated into ‘just resting my eyes’, the kids took off outside, or to another room to play board games or listen to their music.

Friends and family together, uncles and birddogs snoring around the room, a full stomach, and the promise of leftovers for the next few days.

Now, that was something to be thankful for!